I'm sitting here on the couch in mom and dad's living room. It's my last Saturday ever living with my parents. I've talked about how I wanted change...how I was so ready for it...Well, change is here! Not only have I fallen in love with an amazing man, I'm getting married in less than a week and moving almost five hours away from my home in Kentucky, to a small town in Illinois. I kind of feel like I'm in the middle of a whirlwind, but everything feels so right. Everything is finally coming together for me. That doesn't mean that this change is easy. No. Saying goodbye to your family, your friends, your church...that is definitely not easy. I've been youth pastor at this church for over five years now. I've seen this group of kids grow up, grow in God, and now they're getting ready to just explode...and I'm leaving. I've been so proud of them this past few months. They are still seeking God. They're still coming to youth. They're bringing friends...They are awesome! Man, it's going to be so hard to let go and just trust that God is in control. I've had Jeremiah 29:11 in my mind all week, and I have to stand on this:

 “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out–plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. I’ll turn things around for you…You can count on it.”- Jeremiah 29:11 The Message

I love that last line...You can count on it. Isn't it wonderful that we can count on our future with Him?  I used to worry and doubt that maybe His plans weren't working out the way they needed to, but this past year has been more than enough proof to me that even when we don't think things are working out the way they should, He is working. His plans are perfect! 

So, I have to trust that God already has a plan set in motion for the people I'm leaving behind. He's going to do awesome things in their lives, just like he has done awesome things in mine.

If anyone happens to read this tonight, just say a little prayer for me this week as I put the final touches for this wedding together and say goodbye to life as I know it.  Tomorrow is my last Sunday at my home church. I've been at this church since I was ten years old....and 17 years later, it's time to move away. As ready as I am for change, I know tomorrow and the rest of this week will be very bittersweet. 

I'm leaving you with my favorite picture of my fiance and me:

Aren't we cute???  :)

DIY Floating Candle

I haven't posted on here in awhile...got so much going on! I'm in the middle of putting finishing touches together for my wedding which is in exactly 8 days! So, I have been trying to plan a wedding on a budget, which is incredibly difficult. There is such a crazy market on all things wedding. I'll have to post all the other diy things I did, but today I'm sharing probably the best idea I've gotten so far. I have been wanting to make something like this for my centerpieces:

However, floating candles are very overpriced. So, I started looking online for a good budget friendly way to make some DIY floating candles. I went to Big Lots and found 150 tealight candles for $6.00. I had finally settled that I was just going to go without floating candles because I couldn't pass up that deal on candles. I started looking online for ways to make floating candles out of tealights...found it! Take your tealights out of the metal casing they are in and melt candle wax on top of the bottom where the little metal tab is.

Then just let the wax cool and stick your candle in water:

I tested my candle in a glass of water..haha. I'll post pictures of the completed centerpiece look once I get everything together! Just thought I'd share!

It's been awhile...I know. I've been freaking over future plans and everything else in the world going on in this mind of mine. I've spent my day filling this out:

It's still a very scary concept for me. I would move to Alabama....that's over a nine hour drive from home. I wouldn't know anyone.

I'm filling this application out prayerfully, because I don't want to make any rash plans..at the same time, I can't just decide not to fill it out because the idea scares me. Every new thing in life seems terrifying at the time. Where would my life be if I had never taken a chance?

So, here we go, I guess...

*Pulls hair and screams*

Internship. The one word that terrifies me right now....I know I need to do this, and I'm applying for it, but the thought of packing up and leaving everything I know is so scary....

I'm flattered....really......

So tonight I was on Facebook and saw where someone had been answering questions about me on this social interview application. The picture shows a little of what they had to say...nothing bad...actually everything was quite flattering.

However, sometimes I wonder if people really know the real me. I don't see myself as this wonderful person...I see these faults that would cause people to really dislike me. I'm impatient. I'm shy. I have no friends. I sit at home and do nothing every evening simply because I have no one to do anything with.

I don't see myself as beautiful, yet others do. I don't see myself as an inspiration to others, but apparently I am.

It's so difficult being placed on a pedestal. It's so much harder to really be who you are, because there are people watching. People look up to you, so you can't fail or have bad days. If you do, you have to keep it to yourself because they just wouldn't understand you throwing a fit about being lonely or frustrated.

As much as I appreciate the kind things people say about me, it is so difficult to know what others expect me to live up to.

Sometimes I wonder, if they really knew me...would they still say all these wonderful things about me?

Snow Day!

I'm sitting in front of my television watching local school closings. It's amazing that, despite the fact that I'm not in school anymore, I still find myself watching to see if the school I work for is displayed....even though my boss already called me and cancelled. It's like the inner child in me wants to relive school days when I would stay up super late watching the snow and then wake up super early just to see if schools were closed.

I will say that it will be so nice tomorrow to go out with the family and enjoy the snow. I plan to organize a big snowball fight with my siblings. I suppose this is the good part of having five siblings all under the age of 15. Most likely, my 14 year old brother will kill me with the snowballs tomorrow...he always does. Last year, though, he incurred my wrath when he decided it would be a good idea to empty the contents of a snow shovel on my head....yeah...I wasn't too happy about that one.

As much as I dislike my job sometimes, I have to admit that tomorrow's snow day will definitely be one of the perks...So here's to sleeping in on a Friday!

Work...blech!

So, last night I had every intention of writing.....but then I ended up with a killer headache that refused to go away. Finally, around midnight I was able to sleep and get some relief.

Today was my first day back to work since December 9. I work at a small Christian school that closes for three weeks for the holidays. The break was wonderful, but going back to work after being off schedule for three weeks is so tough, especially when you have to be there at 7. That's right....7.

School doesn't start until 8:30...but for some reason, my boss feels the need to open the building at 7. Normally, another teacher and I switch off so we only have to go in early every other week. I found out this morning, though, that I will be doing it every week for the rest of the year. It makes me so angry when my boss adds more and more to our plates. When I first started coming in early, I was supposed to be there at 7:30 every other week...then it was 7:00 every other week-now it's 7 every week.

I'm exhausted already and its only Monday. Yay.