It's been awhile...I know. I've been freaking over future plans and everything else in the world going on in this mind of mine. I've spent my day filling this out:

It's still a very scary concept for me. I would move to Alabama....that's over a nine hour drive from home. I wouldn't know anyone.

I'm filling this application out prayerfully, because I don't want to make any rash plans..at the same time, I can't just decide not to fill it out because the idea scares me. Every new thing in life seems terrifying at the time. Where would my life be if I had never taken a chance?

So, here we go, I guess...

*Pulls hair and screams*

Internship. The one word that terrifies me right now....I know I need to do this, and I'm applying for it, but the thought of packing up and leaving everything I know is so scary....

I'm flattered....really......

So tonight I was on Facebook and saw where someone had been answering questions about me on this social interview application. The picture shows a little of what they had to say...nothing bad...actually everything was quite flattering.

However, sometimes I wonder if people really know the real me. I don't see myself as this wonderful person...I see these faults that would cause people to really dislike me. I'm impatient. I'm shy. I have no friends. I sit at home and do nothing every evening simply because I have no one to do anything with.

I don't see myself as beautiful, yet others do. I don't see myself as an inspiration to others, but apparently I am.

It's so difficult being placed on a pedestal. It's so much harder to really be who you are, because there are people watching. People look up to you, so you can't fail or have bad days. If you do, you have to keep it to yourself because they just wouldn't understand you throwing a fit about being lonely or frustrated.

As much as I appreciate the kind things people say about me, it is so difficult to know what others expect me to live up to.

Sometimes I wonder, if they really knew me...would they still say all these wonderful things about me?

Snow Day!

I'm sitting in front of my television watching local school closings. It's amazing that, despite the fact that I'm not in school anymore, I still find myself watching to see if the school I work for is displayed....even though my boss already called me and cancelled. It's like the inner child in me wants to relive school days when I would stay up super late watching the snow and then wake up super early just to see if schools were closed.

I will say that it will be so nice tomorrow to go out with the family and enjoy the snow. I plan to organize a big snowball fight with my siblings. I suppose this is the good part of having five siblings all under the age of 15. Most likely, my 14 year old brother will kill me with the snowballs tomorrow...he always does. Last year, though, he incurred my wrath when he decided it would be a good idea to empty the contents of a snow shovel on my head....yeah...I wasn't too happy about that one.

As much as I dislike my job sometimes, I have to admit that tomorrow's snow day will definitely be one of the perks...So here's to sleeping in on a Friday!

Work...blech!

So, last night I had every intention of writing.....but then I ended up with a killer headache that refused to go away. Finally, around midnight I was able to sleep and get some relief.

Today was my first day back to work since December 9. I work at a small Christian school that closes for three weeks for the holidays. The break was wonderful, but going back to work after being off schedule for three weeks is so tough, especially when you have to be there at 7. That's right....7.

School doesn't start until 8:30...but for some reason, my boss feels the need to open the building at 7. Normally, another teacher and I switch off so we only have to go in early every other week. I found out this morning, though, that I will be doing it every week for the rest of the year. It makes me so angry when my boss adds more and more to our plates. When I first started coming in early, I was supposed to be there at 7:30 every other week...then it was 7:00 every other week-now it's 7 every week.

I'm exhausted already and its only Monday. Yay.

First Day, Fresh Start

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think in this world of Facebooking, Myspacing, and Tweeting, I have become too connected-if that's even possible. When I first graduated college, I said goodbye to my friends and hoped beyond hopes that we would be able to stay in touch. Some of them had some social networking pages, but some had nothing. Months went by without contact with some of them.

Then, suddenly, everyone I knew-and some I barely knew-were adding me! It was so exciting to get to see pictures of their friends and family. I was great to message each other or comment each other's profiles. Then EVERYONE got on. Now I have added everyone from college friends to distant friends of my family members. I see the daily happenings of people I never really talked to when I was able to see them in person. I post a picture and everyone sees. I find a boyfriend and everyone knows....he dumps me.....and guess what....everyone is commenting.

Social networking has taken gossip to a whole new level. People don't even have to tell each other...they just read the juicy news on your status update, comment-and all their friends now know. I do believe we've reached that "too much of a good thing" moment.

So, needless to say, no one on my social networking sites know I have this blog. For once, I want to be able to post that I'm having a crappy day without having someone preach at me because I'm complaining. I know that statement sounds horrible, but it's true.

I'm hoping to post something everyday. I want to kind of "chronicle' everything that happens in this year.

For tonight, I'm signing off. Resident Evil Extinction is on, so, ta ta for now!